EGSA: “Fewer Emails,” being a very bad poem and some very good news about how EGSA makes your life easier
Prosaic announcements (for mythic retelling, see below)
NEXT MEETING: Wednesday, April 7 at 11 AM (Location TBD). We will be discussing many important things regarding next years— EGSA elections, a conference study committee, social events, and more. Come, come, come!
NEW EMAIL SCHEDULE: In response to complaints about the number of emails we as grad students receive, EGSA (and by EGSA, I mean myself, Bethany) is going to try something new: instead of forwarding emails as I receive them, I will collect emails and send them out in a weekly digest. I have also contacted our department heads and faculty, asking them to submit any emails of interest to grad students to me, so that I can further consolidate the number of emails. This email is the first of these digests. (Now, we all know that, invariably, I will have to break the digest pattern every so often, when emails are particularly urgent or timely. However, for all other EGSA/department announcements, you can expect to hear from me just once a week). If you would like a mythic account of how I arrived at the decision to begin this digest, please see below.
OTHER EGSA NEWS: Please see the attached file for notes from our recent EGSA Executive Council Meeting. In particular, please look over the open positions for next year’s officers (fundraising chair, one social chair) and consider running or nominating someone for these positions.
GSA REP: The GSA rep position needs to be determined before our next EGSA meeting. James Watson has been nominated for this position and has expressed interest in it. If you have other nominations, please reply to me (firstname.lastname@example.org) no later than Friday. Otherwise, James will assume the responsibilities of GSA rep.
REGISTRATION: Registration for summer and fall opened yesterday. Don’t forget to register!
The EGSAlings cried out
“Alas for our accounts!
They teem with emails—
like Hydra-heads, renewed
even as we strike the sweet ‘delete.’
Who will hear our cry
and free us from the chains of FW, RE?”
In lofty 406, one heard these cries:
Bethany, student-herder, EGSA herald.
She rose up, she saw the emails,
the strings of forwarded replies.
She knew the chaos of the inbox,
the sting of weary eyes,
the backs straining over the lurid, glowing screen.
“I will free them!” said she of the swift fingers.
“I will use my little might to fight against the flood
of messages, and memos, and requests.
I will build a work so fine and large
it holds against a sennight’s tide of words.”
She brooded, high in 406:
she thought and asked and typed.
“Behold!” she cried to EGSA-land,
“Behold and be refreshed!”
With hopeful hands, they checked and found
within their box, not 7 emails, but one.
It bore the name: “Digest.”
“This news! These notes!
Gathered and bound,
sheaves of shining EGSA news!
We shall arise on April 7, arise
and plan for a new year!
We shall commission GSA Reps,
inquire into conference-mysteries,
and test the wisdom of our elected few.”
The EGSA-lings went forth,
through Carroll Science,
across Fountain Mall,
reciting the glad strains of the EGSA digest.